Weekend from hell: Part I

Let me take you back a few days, first. I really wanted to mow the lawn one evening with the pushmower. Why? Well hey, why not get a little workout while mowing the lawn. Simple enough. Half way through it I felt a sharp pain on my back left shoulder and on the back of my leg. OUCH! What the hell was this? Well I thought it was maybe a wasp. No, no nests. Yellow jackets? No sign of a nest either. Horse fly! Yes, a horse fly had bitten me. Smarmy bastards, hurts like hell.

Fast forward to my weekend. zzzzzzzzzzip.

Now, I want to cut the grass again. Workout, again. Half way through it... again. I was in the same general area of the yard when suddenly two simultaneous sharp pains hit either foot. I look down. To my horror I notice a brigade of YELLOW JACKETS swarming out of a hole in the ground. My first thought was "%@#$^@#$@!@". My second thought was, RUN. My third thought was, oh who cares, I'm running at this point. Jumping, and looking a fool. I can't remember if I screamed, I don't think so. I yelled I'm sure. I left the lawn mower to fend for itself.

I get inside, slam the door and clammer to find find the phone. Initially it felt like I'd gotten stung several times, so I wanted to call someone and just say "OUCH!". The wife was still in the local area and I demanded benadryl because I knew there'd be swelling. I fall to the floor, throw my sandals off in a flurry. I dial her up and now I'm a big ball of sweat and pain. As I sit here now, nearly 48 hours later, there is still some mild pain. Yellow Jackets HURT.

She came home, drugged me up. My son made sure I was ok. I assured everyone I was fine. I was going to live, yes, but the pain would remain sharp and pointy for the duration of the evening into the early morning.

As I fall into slumber the twitching pain eases and my mind falls at rest. My plot for revenge gently hatching in my sleep. My plans for revenge would go on to hit other snags.

To be continued...